A Little About Me

So, I want to be fair about this blog. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m hiding behind this to smear Gentry. Not that he doesn’t deserve it. I do want to tell my story and let other women know it can happen to them and first and foremost, that it’s not their fault. Since Gentry has shown back up in my life I now know that men like this do not stop. They don’t think they are doing anything wrong. And trust me, Gentry has all the excuses like his life is fucked up, he hates his wife Rosemary, he left his heart in Minnesota and that’s all that matters… You name it, he will tell you exactly why he can do what he does without any thought for anyone else. Including a son who had downs syndrome and needs his father.

My name is Beth, and I’m a trucker. Have been most of my life and I love it! I’m happily married; I have a good husband who is all for me letting people know what Gentry did 7 years ago and that he has tried again. He is a good husband ha?

Anyway when I met Gentry I wasn’t really looking to meet anyone. I was happy trucking around the country side in a fancy Peterbilt which I still do. I did and still haul your produce and Schwans Ice Cream to localities in Minnesota and the west coast. Those are my main things I haul. I now own my rig and my husband and I have matching trucks. My husband came along about a year after Gentry disappeared and has put up with a lot of my insecurities about men. Luckily he has stuck around and proven that not all men are like Gentry.

Throughout this blog I will share bits and pieces about me and my life and probably why I am the way I am. I did lay down and let Gentry walk all over me 7 years ago. I cried and cried, blamed myself, and thought the world was coming to an end. Not this time though. I’m mad and I will not let him do this to me or anyone else again if I can help it.

Thin Air

Weeks past and I still didn’t know what happened. 7 years later, and I really have no answers except for the fact that I did nothing wrong. No one on his side of the family would answer the phone. I called, my mother called, and no one would tell us anything. About a month passed and I got a short note saying please forgive me with his wedding band included. No explanation, nothing. 

One night he and his brother showed up to get the horse trailer. Still nothing. No explanation. Just gone in the night. He didn’t even have the decency to bring my belongings with him.

7 years later I’m suppose to forgive this guy that calls and wants me to leave my husband for him. We talked for a week. I really wanted to see what Gentry Melton was made of this time. As usual, Gentry made all the same promises again. How he had made love to me every day since he left 7 years ago. How we were going to spend the rest of our life together. He was leaving his wife Rosemary as soon as possible for me. He couldn’t wait till we were together. Luckily I didn’t believe a word of it. I warned him that he was on a high, and this is what I got back…

I tried to pull you up on flicker however the site was under maintenance. I pulled the picture here and my heart stopped and tears came to my eyes. You are looking into my soul, I must admit I had forgotten how beautiful you are. I just sat and looked remembering every line in your face and the taste of your lips. Those eyes, they just do something to me.

I realize I am on a “high” but for me its not temporary, I do realize what I let go of when I left you! You are truly an amazing woman and should be very proud of the things you have done in life. I know your parents are so proud.

I love to hear your voice and I can see the smiles and giggles over the phone. Want you to know how much happiness you have given me in the past 5 days.

I hope this email gives you as much joy reading it as it does when you send me something. I’m like a kid in a candy store. Sleep well tonite I’m gonna miss talking to you tomorrow, but should you get free for a bit, & want to talk, I probably wont go home till later in the evening tomorrow (600 miles home) I just got out of the shower and think I will stay here at the yard for most of the evening. I really want to go to your site, so i think ill nap for a while then check back later.

I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!
Gentry

7 years…

Two weeks ago I got a text saying are you sure you want to do this? I said yes. We had emailed a few times, but I wanted to hear his voice. I needed to know what the hell happened 7 years ago. And I needed to hear from him, not read it.

The call came. I heard his voice. Southern, sexy, and oh so easy. My knees were weak, I couldn’t breathe, my raw, broken heart went away for a bit. I cried. Then it came back twofold. How could someone just come back after 7 years? 7 years of wondering. 7 years of thinking I did something wrong. 7 years to move on. 7 years to blame myself. 7 years I have never been the same. It’s not like we broke up and went our own ways or came to the conclusion we were better off apart. 7 years and I should forgive what he did? Well, I thought. Let him hang himself this time.

The End 7 Years Ago

7 years ago we had Thanksgiving at my home in Southwestern Minnesota. Gentry’s idea. Invite your mom and dad, brother, and who ever else which ended up being my uncle who was newly divorced. Gentry made all the plans. He was going to cook us a southern style Thanksgiving that we would be sure to never forget. Boy was he right about that.

We had a great day. Gentry and my mother cooked a turkey on the grill since for Minnesota the weather was pretty nice. We had turnip greens, mashed potatoes, and pecan pie to list a few. We visited and enjoyed one another talking about our engagement and upcoming Valentines Day wedding. Mom and I looked at dresses and uncle Jamie, my dad, brother and Gentry watched football. The day was a blast. I could easily see the rest of my life like this. Family get togethers, Gentry and I cooking together, having someone who really loved me and wanted to spend the rest of their life with me. Life was perfect.

The day came and went way too fast. When the day was done we knew Gentry was going to drive back to Tennessee to visit with “P” as it had been Gentry’s first Thanksgiving with out him. He was also going to get the semi and we had planned on him being back in Minnesota on Monday or Tuesday of the following week. We had come up from Tennessee the week before Thanksgiving with a pick up and a brand new horse trailer Gentry had bought us so when we had a couple of days off we could grab my horse and the rest of my belongings and head home to Tennessee. For good.

We all kissed Gentry goodbye. My uncle Jamie headed home too and my mom and dad stayed the night as they were going to go home the next morning. We were all pooped so we hit the hay after I had called my love to say good night. I don’t think he was even out of the state yet , but it made me feel better.

The next morning mom and dad headed home and I sat on the phone talking with Gentry as he drove south. We talked of how good the holiday had been and what our plans were going to be when he came back to get me. Gentry and I got off the phone and I went about my day knowing we would talk later in the evening. We already missed each other terribly but I was going to spend my weekend packing and hope that it went quickly. He called in the middle of the day just to tell me he loved me which was just so Gentry… He was like that. Always saying the thing you needed to hear most. The night came and we talked more about dreams and the future. Gentry was a women’s dream come true. He was the one making all the plans. The wedding, the area we would get married in. Our home we were going to build on his grandmothers property, how the house would look, all of it. He was a planner that guy. We talked and talked about our future together. I went to bed happy, with a million amazing thoughts running through my head at once. I was so happy to be loved and adored by such a wonderful man. How could life get any better? Or worse for that matter?

Gentry was in St. Louis the last time we talked…. The next morning I waited for his call. It never came. Finally around 10 that morning I called him. He had two cell phones so I tried them both. No answer. Nothing. I left messages. I thought the worst and called my mother. She was such a peach. He was either sleeping or out of the pick-up she told me. Calm down she said and relax. I told her something bad happened. A car accident maybe, I could feel it. The thought kept flying through my mind. Over and over. I just kept praying please God, don’t let me lose this wonderful man so soon. Make him be alright.

The only other thought that was making me feel any better was getting into a vehicle and going to check on him myself, but where do you start? Minnesota to Tennessee. There’s a lot of ground to cover. Hospitals and police? Which ones? Where? I called his family and got no answer. Nobody would answer a phone on his end as I sat there crying over something I didn’t know. But I did.

Gentry Melton disappeared into thin air. I called and called. I filled his cell phones filled with my messages. By the next morning I couldn’t leave anymore. The voice mail system was full. And I was so empty. And alone. Nobody would tell me anything.

I didn’t sleep for weeks. I had quit my job to move to Tennessee so there I sat in my little house, alone. I cried and cried and did nothing much more. What could I do? I lived in a little farm town in southwestern Minnesota and the whole town knew I had been left. No good bye, not even a fuck you. Just left. I was humiliated. And I had never done anything wrong, except love a man who was a fake.

The Beginning

When I met Gentry Melton I wasn’t looking for anyone. I was a successful trucker with a good job. I had just bought a house in a small town and really, life was good.

I was in a truck stop in Grand Island Nebraska the day we met. I was looking for a torque wrench set to take bolts out of my dash and I couldn’t find what I was looking for. Gentry and his friends were having a good time laughing it up an isle down from me so I asked if they knew where I could find what I was looking for. They didn’t know either but Gentry offered to come look at my dash and try to help me.

He had what I needed. All of it. He was a perfect gentleman, walking from one end of the truck stop to the other where I was parked. He had on a sexy pair of cowboy boots and wranglers that would make any women swoon, plus a bag of tools and a perfect gentleness that made me feel really comfortable right off the bat. We chatted and he fixed my dash and one thing led to another and phone numbers were exchanged.

We talked forever. I was heading to Arizona, he was headed to the northwest. We talked for days and got to know each other. I think I told him my life story. It was just that easy. I thought he told me his… I learned he was divorced, a few years older than I and had one son that had Down Syndrome. He lived in Smithville Tennessee and had one brother. He spoke highly of his father, but not much of his mother. This should have been my first warning sign.

It didn’t take long and we were meeting out on the road. Spending nights together whenever possible, running to the west coast as often as possible. We were inseparable. When we weren’t trucking we would spend time at my home in Minnesota. We would cook together and have quiet nights just talking or he would have the grand idea of spending time with my family in northeastern Minnesota. We would drive 4 hours just to visit everyone. They all fell in love with him just as I had. Life was perfect.

In his words.

This is just one of his emails he sent since coming out of the woodwork a few weeks ago.

I could have died when I got your voicemail and had missed your call, I was in the terminal and it didnt even ring. boo hoo.  I hope you slept well and are having a wonderful morning.

 
Its about midnite here.  I slept for about 3 hours and have been tossing, turning and reading our text messages along with looking at your picture for a long long long time.  I cant sleep! I feel like a teenager on his first date.  I like it but the wave of emotions is kickin my ass, so if i sound insecure and frightened at times, well i am.
 
You give me strenght, but with that strenght I worry that I will not measure up somehow.  Im just going to be me and hope its enough.  I never thought that needing to talk to you and tell you how sorry that I am could turn into the most wonderful days.  I hope it never ends but if it does tomorrow I have been blessed.
 
I am going to be divorced as soon as possible and when that happens I will be waiting for you.  No one else will ever be in my life, if I spend the rest of my life single because you decided it wasnt work the risk Im ok with that.
 
I just need to talk to you and see you, sitting here writing this with tears. I got to go ride call me if you can. I love you forever.

No! This is for you baby…

One usually does not go out in the world to be hurt. I can honestly say when I met Gentry that was the furthest thing from my mind. I thought He was an exceptional man. I met him in a truck stop in Nebraska, and from the very beginning when he helped me with my truck dash to the end when he disappeared, he treated me like a queen. Bad thing was it was all fake.

Maybe I should have known better. A man who tells you everything you want to hear is usually too good to be true right? Unmarried, 1 sweet little boy from a previous marriage, wanting to meet your friends and family, moving you to Tennessee but keeping your home so there is a place close to family and friends, a beautiful engagement ring with a promise of  marriage on Valentines Day, brand new horse trailers hauled up to Minnesota to bring your trusty steed with… No rock left unturned. He has to be perfect right? Nope. Not hardly. 

Fast forward 7 years. Your broken heart has somewhat healed from this man disappearing into the night. All the nights I hoped he would show back up and never did. All the nights I lay there wondering what I did wrong. He shows up with an email first. The emails progress into nightly phone calls that last hours trying to mend the broken heart that is still raw. More promises, more lies, more southern charm that melts you to the core hoping, wishing, that things could actually have a happy ending….

I’m smarter than that. I can’t go down that road again. I know it would be a rocky road that would leave me hurt again. But I can tell you my story. So possibly it doesn’t happen to you.

I will share more in hopes that he doesn’t do this to anyone else again. And if you have a story like this one please share with me. I will be happy to post them.

xoxo

Women Scorned